The official website of writer Alexander Bjørn

ABK Stories

The Sock Goblins- Fantasy Promptcast Story

Okay so this isn’t exactly a new story- and for that I don’t apologize- but it is an enjoyable one! This originally came from a post I wrote on an earlier website before investing all of my time into ABKstories. The website didn’t give me what I wanted from it and I have still not found a reason to continue that project. That said there is still a prompt video at the bottom of this post and it’s all about GOBLINS! So please take the time, write me a story!

Now for the next few paragraphs I’m going to be completely serious; I feel you deserve that at least. We’ve all heard about the nuisance of Underwear Gnomes and the terrible weed growers: the Garden Gnomes. But I feel we need to talk about a real and greater threat to humanity that no one has really heard of.  This an issue that has troubled me for about 20 years now, and I have found no resolution. I’m talking of course about my ongoing feud with the Sock Goblins.

Let me catch you up a bit. You see throughout my life I could argue with conviction that I have worn matching socks less than 100 times. That’s roughly 24 years of mismatched feet holders. My mother chalked this up as the sign of a creative mind, or just a simple trait that runs in the family since my cousin was always one who never wears two shoes that were the same color.

She said this and other things in effect giving me an excellent excuse to explain away the horrors I was enduring. I could brush off comments with ease :”Oh? I never match my socks? It’s totally a choice and I’m not hiding anything.” And so, my parents never knew, never really suspected why it was that I wouldn’t match my socks unless a pair of matching socks was provided for me.

In the philosophy of my life, one must accept that which is out of one’s own control. Essentially I believe and have believed, that one must make due with the tools at hand. “Surely,” you might ask, “your parents must have bought you pairs of matching socks?” And you’d be correct to be baffled by this, in fact my parents were exceptionally good at getting me sock sets; they were better in fact than many parents, but this changes nothing.

I don’t know when it was exactly that I angered the Sock Goblin tribe that has followed and tormented me for well over two decades; I suspect it could be anything from eating too many cookies to not eating enough brownies (an odd but true test of character among their people), but they to this day have not forgiven me.

credit inkyhollow

Generally my socks would be lost during naps or bed time, when they strike. Their first attacks came any time a blanket was draped over my body, when their elaborate thievery would go completely unseen by adult eyes. I would wake to find one or both of my socks missing, usually one would be left just hanging by the toe as a warning.

Anyone who has seen me sleep knows that I have learned not to sleep with socks on, preferring to weather the cold to the thought of a tribe of sock-thieves crawling all over me at night. I have thus endured cold feet for fifteen years. In fact any time I lay in a bed with socks on I still fear the inevitable arrival of a sock-goblin patrol. I often feel powerless to defend my feet scarves from their grimy hands.

credit google images

This has led me into doing some crazy rituals. You see, they have caught on that I won’t let them just have my socks anymore. So they’ve taken to drastic military measures to ensure my compliance with their laws. These evil bastards have begun to literally tear holes in my socks. I don’t know how they do it, I still don’t quite understand why, but they do it, and I wear these socks because I have nothing else left to wear. Every so often a sock goes missing, or has a hole, and I have had no choice but to live with the loss. It isn’t just the loss, but the constant jibes from others, those who don’t understand my struggles. “You need new socks,” they say, “Why didn’t you buy new socks?” they say.

I mean what would you do if you were being terrorized by tiny creatures that sneak around and take your foot-puppets away? I imagine most would go insane. But I have held strong for generations of their peoples. And I tell you: they are getting smarter and bolder.

In recent months a small contingency of sock-imps have took it upon themselves to to shrink an entire set of my socks, causing me to put holes in them. Think about that, a whole set of matching socks, completely turned into little more than half their size such that the tribe let me do the self defeating work of tearing the threads! There were at least six or seven pairs in that bundle! I held onto them for as long as I could, but mysteriously, as if taken by some small group of goblin raiders, each shrunken sock disappeared one at a time.

I imagine they became vests or hats for the tiny hoof bandits.

And to make matters worse, they’ve started to take my socks from right off the floor, a place once deemed a no man’s land in our feud! It is an absolute outrage as I’m sure you can admit, but for me it is no longer acceptable. I have lived far too long in fear of these tiny devils.

And so I will now admit the TRUE reasons for why I have studied Chinese for so many years: to learn the sacred and ancient art of Sock-fu!

credit google images

This most noble of Martial Arts has protected me from many goblin raids, imagined flying wingfats, and of course, from unwanted pillow fights with Moose. I implore you to take up this most ancient tradition at the Great Temple of 袜子 (Wazi). There, like me, so many you will find the great comfort and freedom in matching socks while studying the most powerful sock-based martial art in existence.

image credit AZ socks

I am calling on you, all of you, aid me in this journey to release our people from the shackles of these thieves, these monsters of vile proportions!

With your help all of our socks will remain forever matching and free, or unmatching but free from holes! These are some of the greatest treasures in life, and I implore you to take up the gauntlet.

We will defeet this menace!

No but seriously my socks go missing a lot and that is the real reason I rarely wear matching socks.



Add Yours →

And all this time, I thought my washing machine was munching
on socks.

I never knew Sock goblins were irresponsible Sock Nappers,
engaging in criminal activity, right underneath our toes.

Clever use of word imagery.

Thanks! I would give past me a pat on the back for this one.

But he’s nowhere to be found.

Friday video uploading tonight. The internet at work and my video editing computer are not friends.

Ah so that’s why my fave socks go missing…one by one. Wazi is too far away! What can I possibly do? Will I have to endure this tragedy for a century, if I was alive, with cold feet?! I think not!

Hey Alexander, just a quick comment that is not exactly related to this post 😅. Thanks for taking the time to critique my story and be rest assured that I’ve never glanced at my use of active and passive voices. It was just a given, I guess. It seems I do favor the passive voice though. Maybe because it adds some aroma of mystery? I dun know.

As for the channel, I think it’s quite enjoyable. I’ve had a break from wordpress for about a week, so I’ve missed the prompts- sadly. But I’ll hopefully be joining them soon enough! Since you asked us to point out the channel’s flaws, I’ll have to say I can’t play catch-up. I’m not sure if it’s just me, yet we have a huge difference in the timezones that I can’t stay up to date. Basically, Friday for you is Saturday for me, and my weekend is actually Friday and Saturday rather than Saturday and Sunday, so it’s kinda hard to be on time. It’s not exactly a problem for me, but maybe some people find it as such for them, and so they can’t join in with the prompts etc.

Maybe changing the days of the prompts would help? I’m not sure. So that’s why I’m pretty much always late to the vids *sigh*

May you have a good weekend ☺

Maybe the friday video should be every two weeks to give people extra time?

I planned to go over stories whenever they’re put up- might like to shorten Friday videos though.

Either way thanks for the feedback I’ll think about timing!

Hope it was helpful. Welcome back from your break. Keep writing my friend

This is highly engaging writing Alexander and truly had me smiling. I have to say, I feel your pain, these sock goblins truly are a ‘thing’ in my world too. My solution is to only, ever, buy plain black socks. Boring, but my socks always match even though the supply is always holed and dwindling. Keep fighting and writing my friend!

Not necessarily a bad solution! I tend to be colourful with my socks but anything to weaken their advantage is appreciated!

Thanks for your kind words, glad you liked this and may the goblins forever leave your feets be.

Tell me what you think!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.