Rachel held back the taste of bile for as long as she could. Each time she swallowed she felt a heaving build up inside her that she beat back with every force available to her. Think of the smell, she told herself, the smell hit her again and she bent and hurled her lunch out onto the floor. She groaned, thinking about how that chopped cheese tasted a thousand times better going down than up when a hand holding a tissue appeared next to her face. She looked up to find Sargent Melborne with his face away from the sight of Rachel’s puke. “Don’t worry,” he said, “You’re the seventh one today.”

She took the tissue and wiped her mouth before standing to face the man. So it worked.
“It’s just…,” she said, “Christ it’s so…”

“Gross. Yeah it’s disgusting.”

Disgusting was an understatement. While Melborne called over a few officers with a mop Rachel took a moment to collect herself. She’d have to figure a way to that door. She looked at the bodies, and stifled a smile. She could see it on the faces of everyone in the room. Hate crimes usually weren’t like this, their expressions said- who ever did this waited until the couple was in the act, planned, took their time.
She stared at it, wondering. How could they even- Why would you want to put that in your- she puked again. Lookit that, Rach, you’re a natural.

“M-Melborne… What, uh, what are the details?”
“Classic hate-crime. We’ve yet to find suspect DNA on scene.” He sighed “Does look a bit like previous killings, but this wasn’t sloppy. Whoever did this thinks that this is art.”

No, it’s cleansing, you twat.

“Do you think that’s what caused the smell?”
“No, No that’s some kind of a,” He gagged, “Some kind of a pheromone gland. The uh… human partner seems to have covered herself in it. We had Frixkloft here earlier but che had to leave. The smell was…er, distracting cher.”
“As if it’s any better for us.”
“Well I don’t see you soiling yourself and ululating so I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Believe me I did my own time, boy.
“What am I needed for?”
“Just need you to do some blockage on this one and head back on the field. We’ve decided that anyone who can’t handle the smell would just make more cleanup.”

Rachel was pleased at that. She gave Melborne a nod and moved out of the room to step  down the hallway. She stopped at an open door and looked around. Once it looked clear she pulled the knob and knelt down to grab a knife tucked behind it. She put it in her belt and then proceeded outside to help apply the crime scene tape. She placed shooters on the ground and watched them work their magic, attaching to either end of the nearest wall and once in place shooting beams of light that blocked off the area. She ‘found’ another possible entry point and applied more tape. Once she and the others were finished setting the perimeter they were free to focus on their duties. So she crossed the beam.

She sat back against the seat of her car and took a few deep breaths. Police drones moved here and there looking for any clue they could find while the officers did the human thinking by the building. She reflected on how it all happened. How beautiful it really was the moment she vanquished the damned slime bags. She thought about how she had glued their bodies together so the world would see what monstrous blasphemy against nature they were.

She started the car and drove out for an hour or so before stopping outside of a hotel. Learning how to puke on command had taken longer than she had hoped, but it kept them off her ass for that much longer. No one would follow her, not in her private car.

She got out and toed her way into the hotel. She had scoped the place about a month back- no cameras, no eyes to recognize the skies. She could hear them now, the gurgling and the smacking- the filth of this generation. She pulled the knife from her belt, reached out for the door handle, and crept her way in to the creature’s lair.




I know not everyone sits around and thinks of having sex with aliens. Well, except for Star Trek writers, but it’s not a common thought. The truth is, it’d probably be like getting it on with a face-sucker from Aliens. It would be painful, gross, and all together strange.
But I have no doubt in my mind that someone would be into it- someone would try it and you know what, I’m willing to say that it would be okay so long as it were consensual, or at least so long as they were hominids.
Don’t be Rachel. Let people do what they want in their bedrooms. Ya ain’t gotta like it, you ain’t gotta do it, but you can let these things go, Luke- just let that shit go.


Image courtesy of Spectrum News of all websites.


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